I want to cry.
I don’t know why.
It makes me feel so childish.
I’m weak like this,
I try to squeeze,
My fists and force it down.
It comes and goes,
My eyes and nose,
They water without my say.
My mind screams halt,
and tries to bolt,
My heart, it doesn’t listen.
The waves they spread,
Surge up my head,
and splash against my cranium.
And pause.
And breathe.
And pause.
And the tears start flowing.
There is no why.
They just keep coming.
Don’t want to cry.
The tears keep pouring.
Trying to breathe!
Suck deep, keep counting.
Nothing seems to give.
The sobs aren’t stopping.
I’m so weak.
I’m so hopeless.
My throat is shut,
My eyes are burning.
The waves that burst,
They’re out of control.
I’m breathing but I
I
Forgot
How to breathe.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t. Breathe.
I
I’m in a ball.
Curled against a wall.
I’m slowly coming to.
The pain is lighter.
The breaths come easier.
My face feels so caked.
I should feel better.
I should feel lighter.
But my mind is screaming,
Weak. Weak.
Weak.
And I cry inside a little more.